Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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