where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
