A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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