Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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