My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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