I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
