He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
3 2 1 whiskey
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
