Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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