I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
