i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
