he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
