you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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