i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
