I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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