I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize