I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize