Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
