The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
