ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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