She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
