I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
did i just pee glitter
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