my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
