I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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