Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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