i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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