when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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