I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
