she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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