Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
