The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize