So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
