So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
