no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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