I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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