just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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