oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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