Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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