Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
