I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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