Ambien. No doubt about it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
