So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize