Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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