And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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