I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
