I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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