Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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