I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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