My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
