so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As shirtless as possible
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
