I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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