so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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