Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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