Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
