so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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