Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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