she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
