I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
