physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
