idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
