Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
