Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
