When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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