How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize