how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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