apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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